Quotes

The quotes I live by:

"Borrow money from a pessimist, they won't expect it back."

"Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway."

"If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving."

"All generalizations are false."

"If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria."

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder."

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

"To gain what is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else."

"Never let school get in the way of your education."

"Save a horse--ride a cowboy."

"There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't."

"People ruin relationships by trying to make them last forever."

"There is no beauty without strangeness."

"Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener."

"The best things in life aren't things."

"Love your enemies. It pisses them off."

"When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong lane."

" When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets."

"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives."

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"Avoid hangovers: stay drunk."

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."

"Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."

poeticallystupid.