a thought to ponder

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it withyour spouse or othermarried couples..
and reflect on it.

An African proverb states,
"Beforeyou get married,keep both eyes open,
and after youmarry, close one eye.
"Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone,
don't let lust,
desperation,
immaturity,
ignorance,
pressure from others or a low self-esteem
make you blind to warning signs.

Keepyour eyes open,
and don't fool yourself that
you can change someone or
that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone,
over time their flaws, vulnerabilities,
pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

If you love your mate and want
the relationship to grow and evolve,
you've got to learn to close one eye
and not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate have many different
expectations,
emotional needs,
values,
dreams,
weaknesses, and
strengths.
You are two unique individuals
who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect,
but are you perfect for each other?

Do you bring out the best of each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with
each other, or do you
compete,
compare,
and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships,
past hurt,
pastmistrust,
past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment,
and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else
responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control,jealousy,
neediness, and selfishness are
not the ingredients of a thriving,
healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security
are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication,
intimacy,
trust,
a sense of humor,
sharing household tasks,
some getaway time
without business or children and daily exchanges
(a meal,shared activity, a hug, a call, atouch, a note).

Leave a nice message on their
voicemail or send a niceemail.

Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important.
Grow together,
not away from each other,
giving each other space to grow
without feeling insecure.

Allow your mate to have outside interest.
You can't always be together.

Giveeach other a sense of belonging
and assurances of commitment.

Don't try to control one another.

Learn each other's family situation.
Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer.

If these qualities are missing,
the relationship will erode as resentment,
withdrawal,
abuse,
neglect,
dishonesty,and
pain replace the passion.

" Nurture your mind with
great thoughts, for you will never go
any higher than you think.

"The grasswithers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever.
Isaiah 40:8
Shall we make anew rule of life from tonight.
Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary.
The difference between
'United'and 'Untied'
is whereyou put the i.

Life is not measured by the number of
breaths we take,but by the moments that take our
breath away ...